You've got to force yourself to shut the door
Until you're ready to come back and either
Open it up and try again or
Lock it and walk away.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Oh, Halloween, My Classy Friend...
In honor of All Hallows Eve (I don't even care if that's how you spell it, to be quite poignant), I decided to frighten little children. Such a grand time. But not to worry. The littlest were unscathed. I toned it down for them. Anyhow, I watched a very mind-bending movie tonight. It made my head hurt, but it gave me a fantastic idea for a little short story I want to write. Maybe I'll have time after the mish. I shall jot down several notes on the matter, and upon undetermined happenstance, at my arrival back home in a mere two years, I might just start it up again. I am feeling very strange and shall immediately go to bed. Good morrow.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Coca Cola Classic (Losers)
Me and my friend Spencer here will be leaving to the same mission on the same day, and we used to sing this song in 9th grade. We leave in a week and a half, and we were bored, so we recorded this little deely. Shweet.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Nice Guys Finish LAST
I don't care who you are or what you say or what you believe in, this is a fact that will obviously never die. Nice. Guys. Finish. Last. It will always and forever stay this way.
They say it gets better after high school, don't they? That girls will "grow up" and start looking for the nice guy to marry. You know what I say to that? It's BULL. If anything, it almost gets worse. Especially if you attend a little school called the University of Young Brigham. It's almosts like they're in a store, shopping for the best pick. High school is like Savers. Not much selection, kinda boring, old news. College, on the other hand, is like a Walmart Megastore. So many to choose from, they can't decide, so obviously they need to flirt with, date, and "get together" with as many as they can in as short a time as possible. It disgusts me, to be frankly honest. And I'm sick of the stereotype that men are the pigs. From personal experience, it's the other way around. Hate to break it to you... Oh wait. No I don't. I'd love to break it to you. When it comes to the good guys like me, we're relatively screwed no matter what, where, when, or how you put it.
So you know what I want? I want women to own up to it. I want them to admit it freely. I'd maybe have a little more respect for their decisions and whatnot if they could just admit to their flaws. Obviously they never, EVER will, but, hey, a guy can dream, can't he?
They say it gets better after high school, don't they? That girls will "grow up" and start looking for the nice guy to marry. You know what I say to that? It's BULL. If anything, it almost gets worse. Especially if you attend a little school called the University of Young Brigham. It's almosts like they're in a store, shopping for the best pick. High school is like Savers. Not much selection, kinda boring, old news. College, on the other hand, is like a Walmart Megastore. So many to choose from, they can't decide, so obviously they need to flirt with, date, and "get together" with as many as they can in as short a time as possible. It disgusts me, to be frankly honest. And I'm sick of the stereotype that men are the pigs. From personal experience, it's the other way around. Hate to break it to you... Oh wait. No I don't. I'd love to break it to you. When it comes to the good guys like me, we're relatively screwed no matter what, where, when, or how you put it.
So you know what I want? I want women to own up to it. I want them to admit it freely. I'd maybe have a little more respect for their decisions and whatnot if they could just admit to their flaws. Obviously they never, EVER will, but, hey, a guy can dream, can't he?
What Gender is a Computer?
[She is dumb]This post is per Rob's suggestion.
A language instructor was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. "House," in French, is feminine - "la maison." "Pencil," in French, is masculine - "le crayon."
One puzzled student asked, "What gender is the computer?" The teacher did not know, and the word wasn't in her French dictionary. So for fun she split the class into two groups, appropriately enough by gender, and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or feminine noun.
Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.
One puzzled student asked, "What gender is the computer?" The teacher did not know, and the word wasn't in her French dictionary. So for fun she split the class into two groups, appropriately enough by gender, and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or feminine noun.
Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.
The men's group decided that computers should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories for it.
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories for it.
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("le computer"), because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but they are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE THE PROBLEM.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you'd waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but they are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE THE PROBLEM.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you'd waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won!
I completely disagree with the outcome, because to me, the men had a much stronger argument, it was worded more articulately, and besides, the teacher was female! Talk about biased. Let's just cross out that last sentence and write what we ALL know to be the truth. The men won.
[He is smart; therefore happy]
Musings I
You know, lately I've been thinking (which is a bad sign already. Nothing good ever comes from my thinking.) Not really anything specific, either. Just... thinking. I've come up with some great thoughts as well.
1. Women are, and will forever be, as confusing as a box of gummy bears in the middle of the interstate. You don't question that fact. You may consider stopping to shout at the gummy bears,
2. Boredom is still super not cool. Honestly, as a kid I used to think, "Oh man! Life is so boring! I can't go anywhere or do anything! I wish I were older!" If I had the technology, I'd go back in time and kick myself in the face. I mean, come on. Honestly. Who wants to grow up? Pardon my French, but it sucks goat cheese. You have responsibilities and commitments and all sorts of fancy-word things. Sure, you can drive a car, vote, buy dry ice and spray paint, and smoke (I don't, I swear), but it doesn't change that fact that you still don't have anywhere to go or anything to do. Being a kid rocks.
3. This ties in to number 2 above. Growing up is not all it's cracked up to be. Getting a job, going to college, finding a not-too-crazy-but-beggars-can't-be-choosers-because-all-women-have-that-side-to-them woman and marrying her, supporting a family, and teaching your kids not to be as stupid and screwed up as you were at their age are all super cool and everything, but at this point, I'd honestly just rather sit around playing Rock Band and doing stupid crap with friends. I can't, but it's what I'd prefer.
4. Facebook is somewhat overrated. I mean, come on. Seriously? That's one thing that I've gladly come to realize. It's cool and everything, but if you find yourself on it 23 hours of the day playing Farmville??, you'd best take a good hard look at your life, pal. Sure, it's cool to post pictures and talk with friends you haven't seen in awhile, but for the love of all that is good and clean in this world,
DO NOT post comments on every single thing in sight. It just gets annoying. And if you're talking to people on facebook that you could just as easily see in person any time of the day, do yourself a favor, get off your lazy butt. No one likes the Facebook stalkers.
5. iPhones are MOST DEFINITELY not overrated. End of story. (That means you, Nicole!!! Your phone will NEVER be as good as mine until you man up [or woman up] and purchase one for yourself. You'll thank me in the future. You're welcome.)
6. Chinese is hard. Harder than you'd think. There's no pattern like latin-based languages (English, Spanish, basically everything normal.) One word can also mean about 60 thousand different things. A simple sentence simply does not exist in Chinese. Take, for instance, the name Joseph Smith. 斯 密 約 瑟 傳. sī mì yuē sè zhuàn Can you read that?????? Yeah, I didn't think so. I even spaced out the characters so it would be easier to read. AND I put in the pronounciation (or pin yin, as it's called in Chinese.) And if you accidentally put the wrong inflection on any one of the words, you'll probably be calling your investigators a bunch of eggheaded cabbage brains or something weird like that. This language is gonna be hard, but I'm pretty stoked for it anyhow. In fact, I hope I DO call someone an eggheaded cabbage brain. That's my style.
7. Once again, girls are unpredictable and confusing.
That is all that I wish to share at this time. As I come up with more insights, I shall post them. Stay tuned for Musings II.
Caveat Emptor (Or, for those unsophisticated enought to understand this, Buyer Beware.)- If I have offended anyone with my musings, I'd like to say this:
1. Women are, and will forever be, as confusing as a box of gummy bears in the middle of the interstate. You don't question that fact. You may consider stopping to shout at the gummy bears,
but to be honest, that wouldn't get much accomplished, and you'd probably get rear ended anyhow. If you were to shout that at a woman, however, the results would be far more catastrophic. Just say no. Acceptance is key to man's survival."Hey! I don't understand!"
2. Boredom is still super not cool. Honestly, as a kid I used to think, "Oh man! Life is so boring! I can't go anywhere or do anything! I wish I were older!" If I had the technology, I'd go back in time and kick myself in the face. I mean, come on. Honestly. Who wants to grow up? Pardon my French, but it sucks goat cheese. You have responsibilities and commitments and all sorts of fancy-word things. Sure, you can drive a car, vote, buy dry ice and spray paint, and smoke (I don't, I swear), but it doesn't change that fact that you still don't have anywhere to go or anything to do. Being a kid rocks.
3. This ties in to number 2 above. Growing up is not all it's cracked up to be. Getting a job, going to college, finding a not-too-crazy-but-beggars-can't-be-choosers-because-all-women-have-that-side-to-them woman and marrying her, supporting a family, and teaching your kids not to be as stupid and screwed up as you were at their age are all super cool and everything, but at this point, I'd honestly just rather sit around playing Rock Band and doing stupid crap with friends. I can't, but it's what I'd prefer.
4. Facebook is somewhat overrated. I mean, come on. Seriously? That's one thing that I've gladly come to realize. It's cool and everything, but if you find yourself on it 23 hours of the day playing Farmville??, you'd best take a good hard look at your life, pal. Sure, it's cool to post pictures and talk with friends you haven't seen in awhile, but for the love of all that is good and clean in this world,
DO NOT post comments on every single thing in sight. It just gets annoying. And if you're talking to people on facebook that you could just as easily see in person any time of the day, do yourself a favor, get off your lazy butt. No one likes the Facebook stalkers.
5. iPhones are MOST DEFINITELY not overrated. End of story. (That means you, Nicole!!! Your phone will NEVER be as good as mine until you man up [or woman up] and purchase one for yourself. You'll thank me in the future. You're welcome.)
6. Chinese is hard. Harder than you'd think. There's no pattern like latin-based languages (English, Spanish, basically everything normal.) One word can also mean about 60 thousand different things. A simple sentence simply does not exist in Chinese. Take, for instance, the name Joseph Smith. 斯 密 約 瑟 傳. sī mì yuē sè zhuàn Can you read that?????? Yeah, I didn't think so. I even spaced out the characters so it would be easier to read. AND I put in the pronounciation (or pin yin, as it's called in Chinese.) And if you accidentally put the wrong inflection on any one of the words, you'll probably be calling your investigators a bunch of eggheaded cabbage brains or something weird like that. This language is gonna be hard, but I'm pretty stoked for it anyhow. In fact, I hope I DO call someone an eggheaded cabbage brain. That's my style.
7. Once again, girls are unpredictable and confusing.
That is all that I wish to share at this time. As I come up with more insights, I shall post them. Stay tuned for Musings II.
Caveat Emptor (Or, for those unsophisticated enought to understand this, Buyer Beware.)- If I have offended anyone with my musings, I'd like to say this:
SUCK IT UP
And move on. You chose to read this. You should've known better.That is all.
First and Foremost...
I'd just like to say CONGRATULATIONS!!! on stumbling upon this blog. You did it! Now pat yourself on the back and move on, because it's not like it was that difficult. So anyway, to start, I'd just like to give a little about myself. Pictured below is me. This was not edited in any way. It's just me. You'd best get used to it. Cause that's how I am practically all the time. I'm pretty awesome like that.
Posted below this, however, is a relatively normal picture of me. You won't find many, so get your fill now. This very well may be the last normal picture you ever see of me.
This picture is my mission picture. You see, I'm leaving for the Taiwan, Taichung mission in 2 weeks. Why I started a blog merely 2 weeks before I leave, I'll never know. This blog will be, as the title proclaims, my messed-up musings. Most of these will probably never make sense to any of you, for they mean absolutely nothing to me either. If you DO perchance get these things, you should probably go see a shrink. Sorry. I'm rather blunt. Anyway, hopefully I get better at this, because right now I'm rambling. This post must end. And so it shall. I bid you all adieu.
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